A license to kill ... himself

(My latest Addiction and Recovery column.)

By Bob Gaydos
If James Bond were a real person, he'd be dead.

92 martinis a week, shaken
or stirred, would
 hamper even 007's style,
if he were a real person.

The famed, fictional British double agent, renowned for his ability to handle his fists and his booze, would have either drunk himself to death or been too drunk to find, never mind fire, his gun when some enemy agent intended him bodily harm.

That’s the conclusion of a study published last month in the British Medical Journal. Indeed, the scientists who studied 007’s drinking habits in all 14 of Ian Fleming’s Bond novels say the spy who could do no wrong would be dead at 56 if he were a real person and consumed what they calculated to be an average of 92 martinis per week. Shaken not stirred.

The scientists even offered an opinion on that stylistic choice as well, figuring it was driven by alcohol-induced tremors, which made his hands shake and, of course, would have made it impossible for him to aim his gun, never mind hit his target.

While the study may have been a semi-tongue-in-cheek look at a fictional character’s drinking habits, given the popularity of the Bond films and the profound impact of popular culture on our life styles, it makes a serious point. To wit: There is a limit to how much alcohol anyone can drink, in a day, over a week, or a lifetime, without putting himself or herself at serious risk. And that limit is nowhere near what what the suave Bond character consumes.

According to the Rethinking Drinking website of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, for a healthy male adult, drinking more than four drinks per day or 14 in a week (remember, Bond averaged 92 a week) is considered “at risk” or “heavy drinking.” For women, the numbers are three per day and seven per week.

The site says that one in four people who exceed these limits already has alcoholism or alcohol abuse and the rest are at greater risk for developing them. And the more often someone repeats the pattern, that is, the more heavy-drinking days there are, the more at-risk that person is for alcoholism, alcohol abuse and the many health problems related to alcohol abuse.

The NIAAA, which is part of the National Institutes of Health, says 3 in 10 U.S. adults already drink more than the low-risk limits and 25 percent of them already have alcoholism or alcohol abuse. It also says many of these people may be unaware that their drinking habits are putting them at risk for alcohol-related problems.

This obliviousness is often fed by popular culture. Movies (not just Bond movies) are notorious for depicting alcohol consumption, sometimes in copious amounts, with the characters suffering little to no serious effects. A previous study published in the BMJ pointed to one of the risks inherent in this lackadaisical cultural approach to heavy drinking. It found that young teens who watch a lot of movies depicting drinking are twice as likely to start drinking as their peers and are more likely to progress to binge drinking. This was true for thousands of teens studied in Europe as well as the United States, according to the report.

James Sargent, PhD, of the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth and a co-author of the report, says, “Exposure to movie depictions of alcohol predicts alcohol onset and progression to binge drinking during adolescence.” Sargent says his findings point to the need for more attention to alcohol use in film ratings and for restrictions on the placement of alcohol products in movies.  

That sounds reasonable, especially given that drinking habits are often established at an early age. But movies, TV and other popular forms of entertainment generally reflect what the the public demands. Smoking by characters in movies and on TV only declined when the real people who go to see the movies recognized the health risks and changed their smoking habits. In many ways, society remains uninformed about or seemingly uninterested in learning the many risks of alcohol abuse. This mass denial doesn’t mean it’s not a real problem.  

Drinking is a fact of life. The risk here is in confusing fiction with fact. James Bond is a terrific fictional character. Suave, smart, strong, sexy. But any real man who drank the way he does would likely be a stumbling, bumbling, mumbling, out-of-work loser with a lot of health issues and no lovely ladies on his arm.

Or he’d be dead.

* * *

NIAAA: http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/default.asp

James Sargent: http://geiselmed.dartmouth.edu/news/2012/02/23_sargent.shtml

bobgaydos.blogspot.com

Tofurkey for Thanksgiving? Excellent, thank you

By Bob Gaydos

The Tofurkey feast

IR photography 

         The decision to celebrate a Tofurkey Thanksgiving  was driven in large part by the price of salmon. With the traditional turkey-and-all-the-trimmings (and calories) extravaganza already off the table in my more health-conscious life style, fresh salmon sounded like a tempting alternative -- and one that was probably more in keeping with the original get-togethers. But at $9.99 a pound, fresh salmon quickly lost its appeal.
Hence, Tofurkey. Knock off the smirking out there. I see you. This is the real deal.
        The no-meat Thanksgiving-with-all-the-trimmings turned out to be delicious, more than filling, and incredibly healthful. And it was nothing like the “Everybody Loves Raymond” TV episode that grabbed laughs at the expense of a mother trying to improve her family’s health by serving a bunch of tofu shaped like a turkey.
         For one thing, the Tofurkey roast is not shaped like a turkey. It’s shaped like a roast. It’s also stuffed with wild rice and bread crumbs and the recipe tells you to add apple slices to it. It comes with its own soy-based gravy. No animal fat. The whole roast cost just a buck more than a pound of salmon.
         Of course, the secret to serving a successfully scrumptious Thanksgiving meal is what surrounds the “main” dish. Ours had lots of vegetables, all roasted in special sauces garnished with rosemary, sage and thyme and and topped with gravy. Two large baking potatoes, two large sweet potatoes and a butternut squash, all cut into big chunks, went in the pan with the roast. A second roasting pan accommodated a bunch of carrots, a bunch of broccoli and a red cabbage. We also had traditional cranberry sauce and cranberry/apple cider to finish it all off. You can check with Google to find out how nourishing all that was.
Everything came out of the oven looking and smelling great. So far, so good. On to the next step.
          Trust me, it was with extreme trepidation that I assumed the role of carver. I’ve done this plenty of times in the past, with electric and regular carving knives, and usually managed to slice up a lot of turkey relatively neatly. But would the tofu let me carve it, or would it crumble under the influence of a large, serrated knife?
          Success! Following directions to make quarter-inch slices, the roast carved easily and neatly. The stuffing held up, too. The rest was easy. Spoon a bunch of vegetables that were mouth-wateringly good on the plate, top everything with meatless gravy (enhanced with some molasses and honey) and enjoy.
          There was easily enough to serve four people, which means, in keeping with Thanksgiving tradition, there were plenty of leftovers. Indeed, the feast provided two more satisfying meals, one enhanced with plenty of brown rice.
          I write about this not to toot my own horn. Rather, because I think there is still an attitude of condescension in this country about people who want to do something as foolish as to eat food that is not only good tasting, but good for them. As if it is somehow elitist to want to not fill one’s body with known killers such as salt, sugar and fat or dumb to want to live as long as possible in the best health possible.
           I’m no food snob and I don’t think I’m dumb. I haven’t sworn off red meat for life and I haven’t said I’ll never eat another potato chip. Right now, though, I’ve found plenty of tasty alternatives that, along with a workout regimen, have helped me to lower my blood pressure, reduce my sugar and cholesterol numbers as well as my weight, all while enabling me to improve my energy, strength and endurance. I am becoming fit, not fat. Smirk all you want, but that sounds pretty good to a guy collecting Social Security.
           Actually, I know that I’m not alone in this renewed interest in eating more healthful foods. Social media is awash in groups dedicated to more healthful eating. And supermarkets suddenly are offering dozens of varieties of chips and and other snack foods that are not just potatoes laced with salt. There are growing sections of organic, gluten-free and low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar products. Change is happening.
           Of course, price remains a problem for some, which is not an accident. The chemical companies that control the world’s food supply are not interested in having consumers switch from the addictive, salt, sugar, fat and chemical-filled products they advertise widely and sell cheaply in large quantities. In fact, they don’t even want consumers to know what’s in their products, or else why would they spend so much money fighting efforts to make them honestly label their goods, including whether they contain genetically modified ingredients? Healthy consumers are not good for the companies’  bottom lines.
          Yes, it can be a challenge reading labels these days to make sure what’s being promised on the package is what’s really inside. But like anything else regarding a significant change in how we live, a bit of effort can be extremely rewarding.
           I do not claim to be anything special with regard to this change in life style. If anything, this is a selfish decision on my part. I don’t deny myself the joys of eating good food. I love pizza (just not as often as before and without pepperoni). I am a huge fan of frozen yogurt. Salsa and chips (no salt or low-salt) is still one of my favorites. Guacamole is a new one. Chicken, turkey (yes, I’ll still accept a drumstick), seafood, sushi, beans, rice, yogurt and lots of greens, fruits and vegetables keep the menu from getting boring and keep me looking forward to many more years of healthy living.  
           So that’s where I am today. And yes, Tofurkey will be on the menu again.

 bobgaydos.blogspot.com

'No, thank you' is an acceptable answer on holidays, especially for those with addictions

(My latest Addiction and Recovery column.)

By Bob Gaydos
 

  The rare confluence of Thanksgiving and Hannukah ushers in the holiday season this year, a season that also presents a trifecta of challenges for people dealing with addictions. Eat, drink and be merry may sound like a positive message, but to members of Overeaters Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous or Debtors Anonymous, it can be a warning cry: Beware, it’s a long way to Jan. 2, 2014.
  Even people without addictions find it difficult to avoid imbibing, eating or spending to excess during this time because, well, society virtually demands it. It’s almost sacrilege to turn down a drink, politely refuse a tin of cookies or keep a credit card firmly tucked away in one’s wallet during this time. And yet, for someone with a problem with alcohol, food or uncontrolled spending -- or some combination of them -- it is essential to maintaining a sense of sanity.
  Fortunately, people prone to addictive behavior who have managed to find their way to one or more of these 12-Step programs and are serious about recovery have a variety of “tools” available to them. With practice, these tools can help them navigate stressful situations that can trigger old behaviors. Meetings, program literature and sponsors and friends who have recovery experience to share are all useful and easily accessible sources of healthy behavior.
  For example: Bring a recovery friend to a party. Have your own transportation available if you want to leave an uncomfortable situation. Keep  track of your drink. Deal in cash; forget about credit cards. Don’t feel obliged to try every dish on the table.
  And: “No, thank you,” is a complete sentence and a wholly acceptable answer to any offer of food, drink or opportunity to acquire something really special without actually spending any of your own money.
  That “No, thank you,” can be a tricky thing for the non-addicted as well as the addicted. If anything, it’s exaggerated during the holidays. A recovering alcoholic attending a party at which alcohol is served may be aware of the several ways to protect his or her sobriety, but, especially for those new in recovery, societal pressure -- “C’mon, you can have one. It’s Christmas!” -- can be hard to resist.
  The problem is that, while people in recovery may have learned that “No, thank you” is an acceptable answer (without further explanation necessary), a lot of of the rest of the world hasn’t gotten the message. This column, then, is a diversion from the usual. It’s really aimed at the people offering the food, drink or time-share opportunity available with the swipe of a credit card.
  Obviously, not everyone who turns down a second helping of stuffing or a piece of pumpkin pie is a member of Overeaters Anonymous. Not everyone who prefers a ginger ale rather than a beer is a member of AA. Not everyone who won’t go into hock for a swanky New Year’s Eve party is a compulsive debtor. But some of them may be.
  Dare to say, it would be a healthy change if, as a society, we could recalibrate our behavior during the holiday season from one of conspicuous indulgence to one of modified merriment. I’m not holding my breath on that. However, it doesn’t seem to be too much to ask that we not expect others to share our views on how much turkey must be eaten, how much wine must be drunk for a party to be a success.
  So, some “tools” for holiday hosts: Honoring a guest’s wishes is a sign of respect. Anticipating them in advance is even better. Encouraging someone to eat, drink or spend money when they don’t want to is, at the very least, not gracious. Pressuring someone to partake of something when you know he or she is trying hard to avoid it is a good way to lose a friend. Addictions are not trivial matters. “No, thank you,” is a perfectly good answer.
  Members of AA, OA and DA will be especially appreciative if you remember that.

*  *  *

For more information:

Debtors Anonymous: www.debtorsanonymous.org; 781-453-2743.
Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org
Overeaters Anonymous: www.oa.org

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The measure of the man, II

By Bob Gaydos

John F. Kennedy

The first editorial I wrote for the Times Herald-Record in Middletown, N.Y., appeared on the 20th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I wrote the headline, too: “The measure of the man.” 
Trying to “measure” the meaning of the life of a man who was literally loved and idolized by millions of people is no easy task, especially for a rookie editorial writer’s debut effort. But that’s what newspapers do and, in truth, I took it as a good omen that remembering JFK was my first assignment. He was a hero to me as to many young men my age when he was elected president. It was a combination of things: his youth, his wit, his easy-going style, his intelligence, his words, his sense of justice. Plus, we shared the same birthdate: May 29.
As fate would have it, JFK would come to be remembered, not on his birthday, but on the anniversary of his death. And not so much for what Americans received for having him as president for 1,000 days, but rather for what we lost by not having him much longer.
That first editorial said, in essence, that it would take more than 20 years to measure the meaning of the man. It acknowledged the things we had learned about JFK in the years since the shooting in Dallas -- the flaws that made him human -- as well as what I felt were his positive contributions. Thirty years later, no longer a rookie editorial writer -- indeed, now retired after 23 years of writing editorials -- with Nov. 22 approaching, I realized I had to write about JFK 50 years after his death (because that’s what old newspaper guys do). Before I started, I asked one of my reliable sounding boards, my son, Zack, what he knew about JFK. Zack is 19 and better informed than a lot of young people his age, so I figured his answer would provide me with a fair sense of what our education system had been telling kids about Kennedy. “He was the first Catholic president,” Zack said. Correct. “He had an affair with Marilyn Monroe.” Uh, correct. ‘There’s still some theories that there was more than one shooter.” Right. “Do you think the Kevin Costner movie (“JFK,” directed by Oliver Stone) was true?” Well, the people portrayed were real. “The Bay of Pigs didn’t go too well.” No, it didn’t. I took the opportunity to point out that Cuba was the site, not only of Kennedy’s biggest failure in global affairs, but also his biggest success. I was a little older than Zack is now when the world stood at the brink of a nuclear war over the presence of Soviet missile-launching sites in Cuba, aimed at the United States. I was a senior in college and knew full well, as did all my classmates, than no 2-S deferment was going to exempt me from what might happen if the Soviets did not -- as Kennedy demanded -- remove their missiles. Kennedy ordered the U.S. Navy to blockade Cuba to prevent the shipment of Soviet missiles and equipment. Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet president, who had initially denied the existence of the missile sites, sent a naval fleet to Cuba, loaded with supplies and armed for battle. As the world watched and waited and prayed, Kennedy and Khrushchev exchanged messages. Kennedy prevailed. The Soviet fleet stopped short of Cuba and turned around. I lived to write this remembrance. Kennedy was dead not long after. So here I am 50 years later, still looking to take the measure of the man and still wondering how that is possible. Kennedy had the gift of engagement. He appeared to be comfortable with whomever he was speaking. He had tremendous appeal to young people, being so different from the older, stodgier presidents who preceded him. He created the Peace Corps -- a legacy that continues to this day with not enough fanfare. He made many Americans -- and this is not a small thing -- truly proud to be Americans. Not in an arrogant, flag-waving, we-know-better-than-you way. Just proud. And he cheated on his wife and kept his serious health problems a secret from us and sometimes needed to be prodded by his brother, Bobby (another tragic loss) to take the proper (courageous) stand on issues. So the question I still ask myself is, what might JFK have done, what might he have meant to America and the world, if he had lived longer? What did we lose at Dealey Plaza? Certainly, whatever innocence we still possessed. The wind was sucked from our sails as a nation and our domestic politics have slowly and steadily deteriorated into such partisanship that is virtually impossible for any president to speak to the minds and hearts of a majority of Americans the way Kennedy did. Maybe it would have happened even if Kennedy had lived a longer life and gone on to be an ambassador to the world of what America stands for. Or maybe not. It dawns on me in writing this that it is an ultimately frustrating task to try to take the measure of another man or woman. I know what JFK meant to me personally. I know a lot of others feel similarly and others do not. I know what history has recorded (he was also the youngest man to be elected president) and what the tabloids have told us. I have a sense of what I would like to think Kennedy would ultimately have meant had he not died so young. But it’s only speculation. The only man I can truly take the measure of is myself. It is 50 years since that morning when I was waiting at home to go to Fort Dix, N.J., to begin six months of active duty training. How do I measure up today? That’s a question I work on every day. It wasn’t always thus, but the years have a way of insisting on perspective. Maybe the answer will appear in some other writing. I have neither the space nor the inclination to do so here. I will say that, on balance, I’ll probably give myself a passing grade, but there’s still some stuff I’m learning. For now, I’m through trying to take the measure of JFK, as man or president. Let the historians have at it. I’m going to try to take his advice and ask not what life can do for me, but what I can contribute to life. And I’m also going to remember to honor him not on the date he died, but on the date we both were born.

bobgaydos.blogspot.com

     

Everyone should be safe from violence

(My latest Addiction and Recovery column)

By Bob Gaydos

This column regularly stresses the fact that, while things may seem desperate, there can also be hope in the midst of an addictive situation. That does not mean that people in the middle of an alcohol- or drug-fueled crisis ought to deny the reality of what is happening or place themselves or others in danger because of some wishful hope that the danger will magically -- hopefully -- go away.

There’s a time to have hope and a time to protect oneself from the threat of an alcoholic or addict in the throes of the disease. Members of the Al-Anon Family Programs learn at their first meeting that they cannot control the behavior of the alcoholics in their lives, or their disease. What they can do is take care of themselves, including, if need be, protecting themselves from the violence that can sometimes accompany the drinking.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You won’t find Al-Anon publicly supporting any of the worthwhile programs devoted to educating the public about the problem or to protecting victims or potential victims. That is not because Al-Anon members don’t know or care about the issue. Quite the contrary. But Al-Anon, like Alcoholics Anonymous and other anonymous, 12-step programs, has traditions that guide members’ and groups’ interactions with the public.

In sum, there are no interactions. Not officially. As the group’s literature explains, Al-Anon’s long-standing tradition is not to engage in any public causes and to avoid controversy. The reasons are simple:

 1. Doing so would distract members from the group’s primary purpose, which is to help the families of alcoholics.

 2. Becoming involved in some public cause opens the group to outside influence. It puts the integrity and credibility of Al-Anon at risk from those who may not share its goals, but rather, might want to exploit its name. Members are free to voice their opinions and support any causes they choose, without attaching Al-Anon’s name to it.

However, just because Al-Anon will not publicly support some effort to combat domestic violence does not mean it doesn’t recognize the problem. Honesty is the touchstone of recovery. One of Al-Anon’s approved books that deals specifically with domestic violence is “From Survival to Recovery. Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home.” The title speaks for itself, but the authors go out of the way to include a special message on page 9, before getting into the body of the book. The message is clear and concise in addressing the issue:

 “A SPECIAL WORD TO ANYONE CONFRONTED WITH VIOLENCE

“Al-Anon’s gentle process unfolds gradually, over time. But those of us facing violent, potentially life-threatening situations, may have to make immediate choices to ensure safety for ourselves and our children. This may mean arranging for a safe house with a neighbor or friend, calling for police protection, or leaving money and an extra set of keys where they can be collected at any time of emergency. It is not necessary to decide how to resolve the situation once and for all --  only how to get out of harm’s way until this process of awareness, acceptance and action can free us to make choices for ourselves that we can live with.

“Anyone who has been physically or sexually abused or even threatened may be terrified of taking any action at all. It can require every ounce of courage and faith to act decisively. But no one has to accept violence. No matter what seems to trigger the attack, we all deserve to be safe.”

The passage actually comes from another Al-Anon publication, “In All Our Affairs: Making Crises Work for You.” It is as straightforward a bit of advice as one can get anywhere on the issue of violence, alcohol-related or not. This, from a program that makes a point of not generally giving advice.

A bit of advice here: Anyone living with problems related to someone else’s drinking or drug abuse -- including violence or the threat of violence -- can find welcoming ears,  understanding and help in Al-Anon.

To find an Al-Anon meeting in New York state, call (800) 344-2666.

The national meeting information number is (888) 425-2666.

On the web: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org. or http://www.alanonny.org.

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Can we just not call it food?

By Bob Gaydos

What do beavers have in common with raspberries?

Sometimes, a little bit of curiosity can ruin your appetite.

I love raspberry-flavored, frozen Greek yogurt. I defy you to find a more soul-satisfying treat, especially with some dark chocolate shavings sprinkled on top.

Recently, having become a more conscientious food label-reader, I
noticed a story on the Internet about ingredients that don’t have to be listed, but come under the heading of “natural flavoring.” Among the “natural flavoring” ingredients listed was “castoreum.”

“Hmm, something from the castor bean?” I wondered.

Off to Google I went and soon found myself in a state of shock, disbelief and a little bit of, well, disgust.

It turns out that castoreum is a yellowish secretion from the castor sac of adult male and female beavers. The castor sac is located between the anus and genitals in beavers and, along with its urine, is used to scent mark the beaver’s territory. Sweet.

While I had to admit the source made it a “natural” ingredient, I also wondered why the natural flavor of raspberries wasn’t sufficient. And more to the point, I wondered who the genius was who decided that the exudate from a sac located next to a beaver’s anus would be a good thing to add to yogurt to improve its flavor. What was the “Eureka!” moment? Who did the first taste test?

It turns out castoreum has been used for years in perfumes. So I imagine it wasn’t such a leap to go from putting a dab on the wrist to wondering if a shot of beaver sac juice would enhance the flavor of ice cream, candy, yogurt, iced tea and gelatin, especially, apparently, strawberry- and raspberry-flavored foods.

In case you’re wondering, the Food and Drug Administration puts castoreum in the “Generally Regarded As Safe” category. Maybe so, but I am generally going to think twice before I buy raspberry yogurt again.

As it happens, the search for information on castoreum also led me to data on what I at first thought was the source of castoreum -- the castor bean. More bad news.

The castor bean (actually a seed) is regarded as the deadliest plant on the planet. It is the source, yes, of castor oil. But it is also the source of ricin, a powerful poison with no known antidote. The bean is also the source of a food additive identified usually as PGPR. I have learned that when I see a bunch of letters like that on a food label, it’s wise to find out what they mean.

So, remember the added ingredient to my favorite dessert -- the chocolate shavings on top? Guess what’s listed on the label of Hershey’s dark chocolate bars? Yup. PGPR. Polyglycerol polyricinoleate.

  PGPR is a sticky yellowish liquid that acts as an emulsifier -- it holds the chocolate together. It is also much cheaper to produce than cocoa butter, meaning Hershey’s can give you less chocolate in its chocolate, at lower cost to itself, thus making more profits. PGPR also lets the candy sit on the shelves much longer and still be considered safe to consume. Apparently, we’re supposed to ignore that word ricin in the middle of the PGPR as well as the lack of cocoa in the chocolate bar. The FDA says PGPR is safe for human consumption, although lab tests on chickens showed what was described as reversible liver damage.

Finally, while still looking at the Hershey’s label, the word vanillin caught my eye. Again, not necessarily what it seems to be. Yes, vanillin is an extract of the vanilla bean and is used as an additive in lots of foods. But, because of the rarity of the bean and the cost associated with producing it, much vanillin today is of the synthetic variety, coming from lignin, which is a byproduct of, ahem, wood pulp.

So there you have it, my favorite dessert: ricin and wood pulp sprinkled on top of beaver scent-marking sac juice. Some days it just doesn’t pay to read the labels.

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What's it all about, Faust?

By Bob Gaydos

I was privileged recently to enjoy a local opera company’s production of “Faust,” by Charles Gounod. Based on Goethe’s legendary German tale, this is no easy opera to tackle and the Hudson Opera Theatre in Middletown, N.Y., more than did it justice.

I also came away from the production with a renewed awareness of what a cad Faust was. Or was he a rake? A rapscallion perhaps? Good words all, and yet each with a slightly different take on what kind of scoundrel the opera’s title character was. They are also words that, unfortunately, have pretty much disappeared from use in American conversation.

What would Faust be called today, in everyday American English? I wondered. Hmm, a disillusioned old man, a scholar no less, who makes a deal with the Devil to provide Faust with youth and the unquestioning love, adoration and physical pleasures of young women. In return, Faust agrees to give his soul to the Devil forever, in Hell. Faust even identifies the object of his desires -- a young, teenaged virgin, Marguerite, who is impressed with his seeming sophistication and his attention to her -- and the Devil helps him woo and win her with a dazzling array of jewels. In the process of his “conquest,” Faust gives the girl a sleeping potion (provided by the Devil) to give to her mother so that she will not disturb their night of, let’s call it love-making. The potion kills the mother, leaving Marguerite guilt-racked and further vulnerable to the attentions of Faust, who promptly abandons her.

Long story short: Marguerite gets pregnant, is ostracized by a society that doesn’t look kindly on young, unmarried mothers and is brutally condemned by her brother, a soldier returned from the wars. In utter depression, with nowhere seemingly to turn, she kills her baby, is arrested, thrown in prison and condemned to death. At this point, Faust, the lout, returns with an offer to help her escape (again, courtesy of the Devil).

Clearly, the man is an a--hole.

At least, that’s what he’d be called today, I concluded. That’s it. One overused obscenity providing not the slightest clue as to the true nature of the man’s churlish behavior. It seems to me that when words lose their precision they eventually lose their meaning. Communication gets fuzzy. And so, Congress is a bunch of a___s. The president is an a____. The guy who cut me off in traffic is an a____. My boss is an a______.  My brother-in-law is a flaming  a______.  Rush Limbaugh is an a______. (Well, sometimes it works.)

In the spirit of the late Bill Safire, I have compiled a list of words that could be used -- once upon a time were used -- to describe men of questionable, if not dubious, character. You may have noticed a few sprinkled throughout this piece. In the process, I have become impressed with the diversity of choices the English language once offered to describe insensitive blaggards like Faust.

There’s a good one. Blaggard, or blackguard. It’s derived from
Old English usage, meaning a “black-hearted” person. Like Faust. It can mean a villain, a rogue (another rarely used good word), an evil person or someone with dubious morals. Faust personified.

Let’s go back to “cad.” It is defined in one dictionary as “an ill-bred man, especially one who behaves in a dishonorable or irresponsible way toward women.” Perfect.

For the record, my list thus far includes: scoundrel; wastrel; ne’er-do-well; rogue; cad; lout; laggard; reprobate; scalawag; rapscallion; rascal; bounder; oaf; blackguard; boor; and dolt

The French, of course, always have a word for anything. In this case, considering it’s a French opera, the perfect word for Faust is roue. A roue is defined as a dissolute person. That is, someone devoid of most moral value, especially one who places values on sensual pleasures. Think Michael Caine in “Alfie” and Warren Beatty in “Shampoo.” Matthew Mcconaughey in most anything today. The word roue comes from rouer, meaning to break on the wheel, the feeling being that such a person deserves to be punished in this manner.

A roue is the French version of a favorite of mine, a rake, which leads to the exquisite lothario and libertine and, eventually, to perhaps the one commonly used modern word that accurately fits the young-teenager-loving Faust: lech.

I’m open to further suggestions for my list. Indeed, if we weren’t such a nation of language lay-abouts and if we weren’t in such apparent denial about the variety of villains in society today, we could revive some of these perfectly usable and descriptive words. And we could give the A-word a much-needed rest.

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